If you are male and between the ages of say, 18 and 40, this world is probably a fucking mystery to you. If, as I, your musings sometimes lead you to wonder what the hell your place in society is as regards equality then why do we never speak about it? I may just have a bash.
Equality is a true and proper thing and one that should be celebrated, but abuse of equality is prevalent in the modern world and it is this that galls me so.
For one thing, I would love to think of myself as a fairly well rounded and sensitive individual but sometimes I just can't help feeling that in modern society we have drawn the short straw as a gender. It all comes down to one thing. One indesputable fact: We are not allowed to fight a women in hand to hand combat. Before you start screaming "frustrated womenbeater!", allow me to elaborate if I may. I have experienced the kind of woman that is annoyed when I open a door and let them go through it before me, the type that is aghast at the very thought of me paying for everything on a night out or a meal. They have been conditioned to think that because they are created equal (an assertion I agree wholeheartedly with BTW), such gestures of chivalry are to be taken as a personal affront, as they undermine the victories fought hard for, and won by, the feminists of previous generations. OK, rewind and change that shit. Your date is teaching you fundamental life lessons here. Don't hold the fucking door and never again try and impress by displaying the caring side of your nature. The girl has her own money (she earns more than you motherfucker) and is perfectly capable of pulling out her own chair you dunce.
We now know where we are, no Alpha males here, just two equals sharing a little space in the world so let's move on. It's the end of the night and you are waiting the taxi queue having a bit of a chat, she seems a tad cold but do you offer your coat? Fuck knows so you err on the side of caution, if she starts turning Blue and seems confused you can worry about it then. She has had a lovely time and things are going grand when a bunch of drunken men stagger past and start making rude comments. Now you may look after yourself and know a bit of Kung Fu or you may just be a fat bastard with an easily employed "scary look", but if you have a modicum of intelligence you are not going to wade into a group of young drunken men at the drop of a hat. Because you will get your arse kicked. The reaction of your date is sullen and silent and when she springs out of her reverie, it's time for equality to take a back seat and female venom is injected via your equal ears into your brain. "Why didn't you be a man and stick up for me back there?" "Those lads were really offensive and you stood by and did nothing". My dear, the problem is this: you also stood by and did nothing. Even though societies rules dictate that you are mostly exempt from an arse kicking due to the fact you have breasts and a vagina.
Arguments are worse. If you have an argument with a man and it escalates, you either back down for a myriad of reasons (mutual respect/not being the dominant party/the safe knowledge that in five minutes you will be calm and, with the air cleared, are likely to reach a rational resolution/actually having the balls to admit you are in the wrong) or you know that as an animal, (albeit a self aware animal) you are going to have to fight. Fighting and violence are part of human nature and although best avoided are sometimes the only option. I am comfortable with this. It is the age old final settler of disputes and part of our genetic makeup.
You may have the exact argument as eluded to above with the modern woman, but at no point are you allowed to show aggression. However, the lady can be as aggressive as she wants, again safe from comebacks due to the selective and fully interchangeable rules of society and equality that she is able to dip in and out of at will. She is comfortable with shouting, she is comfortable with abuse and pushing and sometimes all out violence. You are, as a modern pansy man, rendered impotent by the very fact of being a civilized member of society.
From personal experience I ask the following: Where is the equality and civility in a drunken woman squaring up to you whilst on a night out, ripping open your shirt and spitting in your face when you know that to give in to your first instinct and have a fight not only goes against the grain of everything you were brought up to be but will lead to the disappointment of your peers and possibly a court appearance whereby you will instantly be the underdog no matter the circumstances?
Where is the equality in being present when a girl starts trouble with a group of men and you are the one that is beaten?
Show me a petition that states women should have equal pay, equal rights and not be discriminated against and I will sign that motherfucker in a heartbeat. I have never hit or abused a woman in my entire life and I don't expect props for this simple fact, I just think the modern man needs to take his Manhattan Portage manbag and his funny haircut and start standing up for his beliefs. Equality should mean equality.
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